Witty bylines and titles happen when the team actually tries.

This recap is going to be short for two reasons. One, I shouldn’t be putting in more effort for free than multi-millionaires do for a sport they’re paid for. Two, there wasn’t anything to highlight.

FIRST PERIOD:
This travesty of a game didn’t start out that way. The Mammoth got early possession, as Alexander Kerfoot won the initial face-off and Utah had some early pressure with the 4th line. Clayton Keller had an early shot against Arvid Soderblom, which was easily turned aside.

2 minutes in, Chicago had a pair of really good chances as a Karel Vejmelka save bounced out in front, and Teuvo Teravainen had two whacks at an open net, but they were both blocked by Sean Durzi and Dylan Guenther respectively.

Michael Carcone had a shot with just over 16 and a half to play, which caromed off a skate and fooled Soderblom, but the puck went a few feet wide.

Louis Crevier took a puck end-to-end at about the 15 minute mark, leading to a 2 on 1 against Utah, but the defenseman took a shot instead of making the pass. Vejmelka was able to make the save and get a stoppage.

Ian Cole got called for a kneeing minor at the 14 minute mark, and Artyom Levshunov and Connor Bedard both got shots in on Vejmelka, but neither was dangerous at all, and Utah’s penalty killers were very successful in shutting down the rest of the power play.

With 11 minutes to go, Kailer Yamamoto won a board battle behind the Blackhawks net, and threw a puck out to the slot. Barrett Hayton quickly dished to JJ Peterka, who wristed a shot that was snagged by Soderblom.

Just past the halfway mark, Carcone tried a wraparound attempt, which was a really good attempt, but was denied. A cross-ice feed to Nick Schmaltz was fanned on, but Utah kept up pressure. Keller had some good possession time, but was hooked and a soft puck played to Mikhail Sergachev ended up in center ice.

On the ensuing rush, Keller was hooked and went down to the ice. Utah would get their first power pla… wait, what? Embellishment? ON THAT CALL? Considering all the calls that went against Utah recently, that’s the call that embellishment gets drawn on? Sure thing, stripes.

On the ensuing 4 on 4, Sergachev had a good look as he walked in and threw a shot in on Soderblom that was gobbled up. Then, Utah drew a penalty because flailing when you trip is somehow more acceptable. A rare non-overtime 4 on 3 for a little over a minute and a half.

Kevin Stenlund had a good series shadowing Connor Bedard, and the 4 on 3 ended up a 5 on 4, thanks to a pair of good stops by Vejmelka. Moments later, Utah killed off the rest of the penalty, and the scoreless tie remained.

JJ Peterka was defended on a rush chance up the wing, and further pressure saw Peterka try and feed Yamamoto at the high slot, but Chicago’s defense swallowed up Yamamoto and killed the play.

Ryan Greene had a fantastic chance against Vejmelka, when he redirected a shot by Matt Grzelcyk just wide.

The Mammoth 4th line had a 4 on 2 develop after that shot missed, but they couldn’t coordinate a tap-in pass from the far boards, and the chance evaporated.

Under 3 to go, Peterka had a good steal along the boards, but his centering pass to Hayton went nowhere.

After a bad, bouncing pass escaped the zone over Nate Schmidt’s stick, he tripped Frank Nazar. Schmidt was bullied in the corner and coughed up the puck, and Nazar had beaten every Mammoth player back to the puck, forcing a flat-footed Schmidt to make a desperate play.

Off the drop, Tyler Bertuzzi got the puck and was in all alone versus Vejmelka, until Sergachev recovered to disrupt the play just enough to force it wide. Then, after Schmaltz took the puck from the corner, a pass to Sergachev right in the front of the crease saw the Russian completely mishandle the puck, giving Chicago a free shot in on Vejmelka from less than 5 feet. Teuvo Teravainen took the loose puck and beat Vejmelka short side with less than a minute to play. 1-0 Chicago

Nothing going on the rest of the period, save for a delay of game penalty with less than 10 seconds left. Nick Foligno tossed the puck out, which is a no-no, and he would go to time out to start the second period.

Chicago outshot the Mammoth 13 – 8 in the first period. Note, Chicago had 15 shots for the entire game against Colorado yesterday.

SECOND PERIOD:
The second period saw the lion’s share of the Mammoth power play, and despite getting a fortuntate broken stick against Chicago, Utah was unable to get a quality shot off. Carcone got the one dangerous look on the power play, with a sharp angle shot that Soderblom turned aside. Utah would spend the rest of the power play watching Chicago play keep-away successfully.

The Mammoth saw a lot of sloppy play post power play, with failed zone clears just past the 18 minute mark. Chicago had no ability to capitalize on anything, but Utah really tried to shoot themselves in the foot.

Crouse, deep in the Chicago zone, tried to drop a pass back to Schmaltz who was crashing towards the net, but the pass missed. A Keller pass to Durzi was off by about 2 feet, preventing a great one-timer chance. Schmaltz, covered in the slot, fed a pass to Peterka, also covered in the slot, but the shot was sent wide.

Greene got a puck from behind the Mammoth net, and had a good chance in close, but Vejmelka shut the door.

With 13 minutes to go, Keller fed a pass right in front of the net to Lawson Crouse, but the play was contested quickly and Levshunov’s skate forced the shot wide.

12 minutes to go saw an actual odd-man rush for the Mammoth, with Yamamoto and Peterka in 2 on 1. A drop pass from Yamamoto to Hayton saw the center missing the net entirely.

10 minutes to go, Kerfoot dropped a pass for Carcone right in front of Soderblom, but the pass didn’t connect and the puck went out to the boards.

After an icing, Ian Cole lost a board battle behind the net, and the puck squirted out in front of the net. Neither Stenlund, Carcone, or Cole got to the puck, all beaten by 38 year old Nick Foligno, who played last night. 2-0 Chicago

Utah came out after the goal with some vigor, and pushed Chicago for the first time all day. Sean Durzi had a couple of shots, Guenther threw a shot from the point, but Soderblon was able to stop them all. Then, after the face-off, Landon Slaggert threw a meatball at the Utah net. Vejmelka, feeling the sense of not-giving-a-crap from the rest of the team, just kinda stopped caring, as the puck hit his glove and went in. Hey, no one else cared, why not him now too? 3-0 Chicago

From here, it just seems the team mailed it in, as literally the only pulse of life came when Lawson Crouse had a couple of attempts late in the period, but it was pretty much obvious the team was mentally checked out.

Utah led in shot 10-9 for the period, but trailed 22-18 after two.

THIRD PERIOD:
The Blackhawks were called for an early penalty, with Crevier tripping Keller. So, with the anemic power play going up again… they give up their first shorthanded goal against all year. 4-0 Chicago

Bedard got one dangerous shot off the rest of the period, and it wouldn’t have mattered anyway, since Utah had 2 dangerous chances, total, the rest of the way – and both missed the net.

The 18 and a half minutes after the 4th goal were just a game of “let’s run the clock out” for both teams, as Utah didn’t even give much effort to break the shutout.

Utah managed 4 shots in the period, down by 4 goals. Just disgraceful.

Chicago outshot the Mammoth 6-4 in the third period, taking the shot totals 28-22 for the game.

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3 GOALS (THE GOOD):

Faceoffs There was one, and only one, good thing about play tonight, and that was the play at the dots. Logan Cooley was 9-5, including winning both power play faceoffs, Barrett Hayton was 8-3, and Nick Schmaltz was 7-6.

Utah controlled the dot all game. But, everywhere else – literally, everywhere – the team was lacking.

At least there’s one positive, right?

60 minutes This is simply to point out that the game was mercifully over after 60 minutes, though that game felt like the entire Olympics stretch.

A loss this bad, a game this terrible, team play this disgusting only counts for at most 2 points. 60 minutes. The next 60? That’s another story for another day.

Winds of Change A game like today, with the playoffs on the line and so much at stake should be the flashing neon sign with a train horn blaring in the ear of GM Bill Armstrong. This team’s character at times can be questionable – including at the blue line where lazy play has been the name of the game for 2 years. Last year, bad play was able to be overcome by good offense. This year?

If anything positive comes from this, it’ll be the need to address the elephants in the room – coaching remain suspect and some areas that need to be upgraded need that upgrade badly.

Armstrong is a solid GM with a good plan, so he should be able to make the best of a bad situation come the end of the week… we hope.

3 CHIRPS (THE BAD):

Timing – Last game I literally posted a comment that said “The Mammoth have a really bad habit of not starting games on time”. Today, no one showed up for a 2 PM start time. Rumor has it they were standing there from 7 – 8 PM wondering where the Blackhawks were for their scheduled game.

This game was a travesty, the worst game we’ve ever witnessed at the Delta Center. Other bad games have happened this year, including losing to Carolina when up by 2 late in the game. However, at home? This was clearly their worst effort, possibly in their short history.

What’s worse, is this team is in the middle of a playoff push, against a cellar-dweller team, playing the NHL’s 2nd worst backup and one of the worst goalies active in the NHL, playing a team on a back-to-back, at altitude, and against a Chicago team that’s aiming for the 1st overall pick again.

There is no reason, none, for this game to have happened. Yet, here we are.

Best of the Bunch Man, tonight I had a cornucopia’s worth of picks to make, but I’m settling on Mikhail Sergachev. Sergachev is a great offensive talent, but he’s also one of the most consistently inconsistent guys on the ice.

Sergachev, when he feels he’s better than the opponent, will give half effort. It was clear today several times.

Early on, with the 4 on 3 penalty kill, Sergachev failed to get to a loose puck behind the net, which Chicago recovered and the penalty kill remained hemmed in their zone.

3 minutes to go in the first period, he let Ilya Mikheyev turnstyle him, preventing an icing that would have kept Chicago pinned in their end.

At the end of the period, he completely misplayed Tyler Bertuzzi’s attempt on the power play, barely getting back in time to cover the slot he left wide open.

Turnover midway through the 2nd, led to a rush where he failed to cover Bertuzzi – again – and Vejmelka had to make a windmill save.

The shorthanded goal against? Sergachev didn’t even make a play on the puck after it bounced around behind him. He not only lost the puck to Chicago, he failed to defend the shot that beat Vejmelka for the last goal.

Not all of his mistakes, mind you, just the most egregious ones. In a team full of passengers and terrible play, Sergachev’s play was a neon sign of suck.

No More Jazz There are 19 players and 3 coaches I can rail on today, and I have in person, on Discord, and in this article, but the one last thing – aside from the UTA not running any trains on a hockey day (seriously, 1 train car running every 30 minutes? I hope they got hundreds of angry calls), the ice quality at the game today was awful. Players were falling, sliding, and just all over the place.

It goes without saying that the Utah Jazz played yesterday, and coupled with an early game, there was just not a really good quality for the ice – and it showed.

The Utah Jazz are an embarrassment in a league that is nothing but embarrassing, and now their awfulness is bleeding onto the ice. Literally so.

Am I being petty, and angry, for having to not only watch that game live, but a second time to write this? Yes. But I need to hate something beyond my team today, and the NBA is a great place to point that blame. And get some damn trains running on Sundays… this isn’t the “shut everything down on Sundays” state anymore, and hasn’t been for years.

(I needed to spread hate everywhere today, and it shows…)

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Next up:

No more Delta Center for a while, as Utah goes on a 5 game road trip. Next up, Washington DC as the Mammoth take on the Capitals, Tuesday night at 5PM local.

Tusks Up!